Honesty Is The Best Policy
by Giacinta
Summary: After the doors to Oz close on Charlie and Dorothy, Sam gets Dean to tell him the truth about Ezekiel. One -shot. Season Nine.


Honesty Is The Best Policy

XXXXXXXXXXXX

X

Well at least Charlie was happy, Sam reflected as he watched her smile gaily back at him and Dean before the door to the fairytale world of Oz closed behind her and her new friend Dorothy.

x

Charlie had told them she often imagined wandering heroically through a fantasy world, and in the space of a few hours her wish had been granted.

He bade her all the best of course, but he was left wondering why for some people it was all so simple to see their dreams become reality, and for him life had been all so difficult.

'Don't forget that you're a Winchester,' an inward voice reminded him, 'and Winchesters are cursed.'

Yeah, he reflected; that was the one constant in his life. He could always be sure that things were gonna go wrong for him; whatever he did just exploded in his face.

If a choice was to be made, Sam Winchester always managed to make the wrong one!

x

He wondered why he was even still alive. He should have been consigned to history long ago!

He'd died a first time at Cold Oak, and though he understood and appreciated the sacrifice Dean had made to bring him back to life; if he had stayed dead then, everything that had happened afterward could have been avoided.

No Hell for Dean nor for himself, no demon blood, no soullessness, no Purgatory.

He glanced at his brother, he was here because of Dean, because his brother loved him and needed him by his side, by virtue of some indefinable bond that linked them, neither of them knowing precisely why.

Maybe they would never know.

X

As the doors closed on Oz, he found himself wondering about earlier, when he had woken up lying on the floor against a wall, but try as he would, he couldn't remember how he had finished up there, and Dean had been pretty vague about giving him a reason.

Now that he came to think about it, it wasn't the first time recently he had zoned out, awakening to find himself dazed as if time had somehow passed by without him realizing it.

x

Dean turned suddenly as if he had perceived what Sam had been thinking, and their eyes met.

His brother quickly looked away but not before Sam spotted a reflection of guilt in his eyes.

A chill ran down his spine.

Dean was hiding something, something that had to do with Sam.

He gulped, whatever it was, Dean was too scared to tell him.

A series of probabilities ran through his mind.

Maybe he hadn't been cured from the effects of the third trial after all; could be he was still dying and nothing could be done for him, so Dean was trying to make his last days as serene as possible by keeping him in the dark..

The more Sam dwelt on it, the more he was sure this was the right answer. His big brother was trying to keep Sam calm and happy until the inevitable happened.

x

Sam understood; he would probably have done the same thing if their positions were reversed, but even so, he couldn't halt the burst of anger that was bubbling up in his loins.

He wasn't a kid any more, no matter how Dean still liked to regard him as one, playing the big brother card whenever it suited him!

He was a grown man and he had a right to know just what the score was.

X

"Out with it, Dean! What's going on?" Sam exclaimed suddenly, a long arm snaking out and catching Dean unawares, causing the older man to turn towards his sibling in disconcert.

Sam's fingers were like vises around his fore-arm, and Dean's heart sank at the familiar stubborn expression stamped on Sam's face, warning him that his little brother wasn't going to allow him any leeway. Sam must have figured out that something wasn't right, and he wasn't going to let things rest until he was completely satisfied.

Most of the time Dean managed to lull Sam's suspicions, but this time he wasn't going to get away with it.

Sam would bitch and insist until Dean spewed out his guts!

X

"Huh," he replied smirking. He had to at least try and defuse this possible explosion."What's come over you Samantha? Upset that you didn't get to join the other girls in their little trip to Oz?

"Shut up, Dean," Sam answered. He was having none of it.

Whatever Dean was hiding, he was going to tell him, or Sam would shake him up and down like a rag doll, till his teeth chattered together.

"Don't try to wriggle your way out of this. You know something about me that you're not telling! I want to know. I have a right to know if I'm going to die, or whatever it is that you are keeping from me."

"Please, Dean," he added, the anger in his eyes evaporating into the puppiness of little Sammy. "Please Dean, whatever it is; you've got to tell me," Sam pleaded.

X

More than Sam's anger or his threats, it was the pleading expression in his little brother's eyes that got him every time, and he surrendered helplessly to their power over him.

"Okay," Dean whispered exhaling a sigh. "Okay. You're right. I'm hiding something from you. Something big, something that you're not gonna like."

Sam nodded, finally releasing Dean's arm. "It's okay, man. Whatever it is, it can't be any worse than what I've been through before. The trials are killing me. There's no cure. Is that it? "

x

Dean passed a hand over his face. He had no idea how Sam would react to what he was about to tell him; no way of knowing what Sam would do or say, but there was no use in lying now; he launched into his explanation.

"After the angels fell, I took you to the nearest hospital, Sammy...You went into a coma; there was no hope, you were dying...I...I... didn't know what else to do. I know it was stupid, for no Earthly doctor could have cured you, but it was all I could think of. But I just couldn't lose you!

You know me Sammy. I've never been able to imagine life without you by my side. Nothing else has ever mattered to me.

I've never said those …...three little words to you... 'cause, it's just not in me to chick-flick like that but... you gotta know that even if I don't voice them, I mean them."

x

Sam listened almost unbelieving, at Dean's little speech. It was rare for him to talk about his feelings, so if he was doing it, something was really wrong.

"Dean..." Sam said moved by his words. He knew his big brother loved him, but to hear him express himself like this made up for all the times he thought he had lost that love.

Dean held up a hand.

"I haven't finished yet, Sam. What I'm going to tell you might make you hate me forever, and honestly I can understand if you do. I did a terrible thing, but I did it to save you. There was no other way … and.. Sammy," he continued. "There's no me if there's no you."

A myriad of emotions swirled in Sam's heart. "There's no me if there's no you." Did his big brother really say that, or were his ears playing tricks on him?

"Dean..."

"There's no easy way to say this, Sammy. So I'll just come right out with it," Dean said looking Sam right in the eye.

"You're being possessed by an angel. He's curing you from the inside and when he's done the job, he'll leave your body."

x

Of all the things Sam had been expecting to hear, this had not been one of them. He was so taken aback he almost faltered, Dean's strong hand coming out to hold him up.

He fell back down onto the nearest chair, his mind trying to come to terms with what Dean had just revealed.

X

"Wait, so you're saying there's an angel inhabiting my body, possessing me. But how?" Sam looked up at his brother in confusion. " Aren't vessels supposed to give permission before an angel can enter them?"

"You were dead, Sammy. The angel allowed me to mind-meld with you just before Death came to reap you, and well, it all gets a bit confusing from there. I begged you not to go with Death; you agreed and the angel managed to enter your body."

x

Sam felt overwhelmed by all the things Dean was telling him.

He had died, again!

Death himself had come to reap him!

He had an angel inside him.

"Why can't I feel his presence?" Sam asked.

"He's staying quietly hidden inside you, not interfering with you , except..."

"... except on occasion, and those are the moments I've been zoning out," Sam finished for him.

Dean nodded.

x

Sam rested his head in his hands, sighing.

"You just can't let go, can you Dean? There's freakin' nothing you wouldn't do to keep me here. It can't be right Dean!" he exclaimed unhappily, both arms coming up to hold on to Dean's.

"You said you saw Death. Was he okay with this, with me coming back from the dead again? What happened to "you Winchesters can't interfere with the natural order" stuff?"

x

"I dunno. I think I actually saw him smile before we were drawn back to the land of the living," Dean replied, himself confused by Death's attitude.

"Who is this angel?" Sam asked leaving Dean wondering at Sam's seeming calmness. He would have expected his brother to have erupted in fury at what he had just told him. But then Sam had always managed to surprise him.

X

"Ezekiel."

"Did you research him,?" Sam asked lowering his hands and getting up off the chair.

"Not really," Dean answered. " He told me he was a good guy and well .."

"And you took his word for it?"

Dean shrugged." It was either that or losing you Sammy, and **_that _**wasn't an option."

x

"Jeez, Dean! There's something seriously wrong with us; you know that don't you? " Sam said, holding his brother's gaze and shaking him gently.

"We're not normal. What we're willing to do for each other. It scares me. What **_you've_** done scares me, Dean. I have an angel inside of me whose end-game we know nothing about."

"We'll get through this, Sam as we've always done.," Dean consoled him. "It's you and me Sammy. Always has been, always will be. Together we can achieve anything!"

Sam just shook his head at his big brother's certainty.

They were both caught up in a merry-go-round of life and death. One day it would stop for the Winchesters too, but that day had still to come..

x

"Where are you going, Sam?" Dean asked as Sam went to the door

"I've got me an angel to research!" was the only answer.

X

The End.


End file.
